Wednesday, October 27, 2010


What's the opposite of chickflicks? Dickflicks.

That's the name I propose for all guy movies. Well, and for gay porn.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Two Holidays on Oct. 31

In the United States, every October 31 is a special days. Because it's two holidays in one, one for the men and one for the ladies. For the men, it's Halloween. For the women, it's National Dress Up Like Slut Day.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

2012 Doomsday! Wait, Not So Fast ...

2012 Doomsday? That's what a lot of dumbasses and con artists people were claiming the Mayan calendar portended.

But good news! Turns out those people now say that 2012 Doomsday won't be happening after all! The world will go on for another 40 years. And then: 2050 Doomsday!

Something tells me that in 2048 the end of the world will once again be postponed through the "discovery" of some other excuse. Meanwhile, I'll be waiting down by the river, dressed in white.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Kitty Litter

If I started my own brand of kitty litter, I'd name it after one of my cats and call it "Baxter's Turd Dirt."

Saturday, October 16, 2010


Vakantie. There, I said it. Vakantie is the Dutch word for "holidays," as in, vacations. But in my humble option, vakantie is more fun to say than vacation. So henceforth, I'll be taking a family vakantie or a work vakantie or a summer vakantie. No more vacations for me. Only vakanties. Or at least staykanties.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Courteney Cox and David Arquette Breakup

The biggest question in the Courteney Cox-David Arquette breakup is which one of them the tabloids will first accuse of leaving the other for Jennifer Aniston. Because that's going to happen, right?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Fast Food Weddings

Fast food weddings? That takes me back.

I got married at the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas in the late 1990s. The chapel had a drive-through, and if you wanted (my bride-to-be wouldn't agree to do it) you could rent a convertible and get married in the drive-through. We got married inside. But I joked at the time that the drive-through vows would go like this:

"And do you, Eclect-o-Blogger, takes this woman as your wife?"
"And do you, soon-to-be Mrs. Eclect-O-Blogger, takes this man as your husband?"
"And would you like fries with that?"

But apparently, fast food weddings are all the rage these days. Or something of a rage, anyway. What are fast food weddings? The term applies to several levels of commitment:

  • Catering your nuptials with fast food
  • One person proposing to another inside a fast food establishment. On bended knee at Table No. 3.
  • Or actually holding the ceremony in a fast food restaurant.

Someone needs to do a study of fast food wedding participants. My guess is that there is a greater incidence of obesity in fast food wedding couples than in the population at large. (Wait, is that even possible? We're an awfully fat population.)

Senhora Aparecida

Senhora Aparecida is Our Lady of Aparecida, the patron saint of Brazil for Catholics. Senhora Aparecida is what she is called in Portuguese (the primary language of Brazil).

Today - Oct. 12 - is the feast day of Senhora Aparecida. So, to Brazilian Catholics, Happy Senhora Aparecida Feast Day!

To everyone outside of Brazil, Senhora Aparecida is as good an excuse as any to visit a Brazilian steakhouse.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Bees, Colony Collapse Disorder, Fungus and Virus, Pesticides, Bayer

Last week the New York Times published an article about a research paper that suggests a cause of the disturbing colony collapse disorder killing off our honey bees. A combination of a fungus and a virus, both found in the bees' guts, is the culprit, the study suggested.

But now there's an article in Fortune magazine, published on the CNN/Money Web site, that calls into question the impartiality of that study. Turns out one of the lead scientists is receiving money from Bayer. Bayer makes a pesticide that many beekeepers and other scientists suspect of playing a major - perhaps primary - role in colony collapse disorder.

My money is on the pesticide, which appears to weaken the bees to the point where other problems (such as fungi and viruses) can finish them off.

Read the article

More, Please

Professional poker players I wish were on TV more often: Chau Giang and Ted Forrest.


"BNTM" is the acronym for "Britain's Next Top Model." I did not need to know that. So the 11.3 seconds I spent looking it up are wasted. As are the 11.3 seconds you just spent reading that "BNTM" is an acronym (make that acridnym) for "Britains Next Top Model."

Ming Tsai Is Too Good for This!

Just saw a commercial for Food Network's Next Iron Chef, featuring Ming Tsai.

Hey, Food Network, if Ming Tsai wants to be an Iron Chef, then just make him an Iron Chef. You'll finally have someone other than Mario Batali worthy of the position, and someone telegenic, charismatic and fun to watch, to boot.

And Ming - now that you've agreed to appear on this dog-and-pony show, you damn well better win.